All That You Can't Leave Behind(Where I End and You Begin)

Standing on a cliff and staring at a plane that is flying above him,Lucas wondered,"Will anything be the same again?"
A Few Days Ago
"Hey you,"said a voice from behind.
"How are you,Elena?"
"I'm fine,Lucas."
Lucas looked at Elena worriedly.He felt as if there was something on her mind
"Are you sure you're alright?"asked Lucas.
"Normally...you'd be hyper and talkative.But,you seem so quiet today,like you're thinking about something.
"Lucas,I'm fine.Don't worry about me.It's nothing"
"Oh sure...Elena,"Lucas said sarcastically."How long have I known you?"he asked.
"About 10 to 15 years?"Elena said uncertainly.
"Yeah,it's been 15years since we've become friends.I've got to know all your ways.I know that when you're troubled or sad you'll always come to this place to sit here to ponder."
Elena remained quiet.
"So what's on your mind?"Lucas asked.
"Well it's nothing Lucas.Don't worry about me.I'll be fine,"said Elena.
"If you say so,just know that I'll always be here for you"assured Lucas.
"Thanks Lucas"
They both smiled and departed.Lucas felt that Elena was hiding something.He wondered and worried about her.
The following day
"Hey Lucas.Can we talk?"asked Elena.
"Sure,"he replied."Hang on.I'll get this sorted out first and I'll be right with you."
Elena stared at Lucas while she was struggling with her thoughts.She wasn't so sure whether she should tell him.She looked at him and had doubts
"Yeah Elena,what was it you wanted to talk about?"
"Nah,it's nothing.I've kind of forgotten what I wanted to say."
"Are you sure?"asked Lucas.He had a feeling that something was bothering her.
"Yeah,let's go to the cafeteria for our lunch.
As they walked down the hallway to the cafeteria,Elena was comtemplating with herself,wondering whether she should tell Lucas about it.Meanwhile,Lucas pondered,"What's on her mind?"
When they reached the cafeteria,Lucas and Elena headed to the tray section to get a tray.They walked to the counter to get their lunch and then to the cashier.

To be continued
I got it from' Cahaya'

Life's what make it

When I'm writing this,I currently listening to 'You Belong With Me' by Taylor Swift.Days are drawing nearer as the class outing is just a few days away.I do hope that 'he' is going.Oh well,its fate if he were to go.I can't find anything to do although I have 60 essays and 100 math questions.I just feel so bored.I just hope that someone can be here to spend the holidays with me.My cousin came over to my house to stay for a week.She just got her UPSR results and she got 5A's out of 7 subjects.To me,thats a great achievement.She put so much effort into this and now her hard work is bearing some results.I'm taking over a new job next year.Although I have a lot of things to do,but I don't feel stressed.Maybe I am but I just don't show it.I hope that my results will not deteriorate after getting this new job.Alot of prefects were complaining that they didn't get into a good class next year.Some said that the division on the students were not according to percentage.I was lucky enough to get into 2A2.Guess what?He's going to be in 2A2 too.That was a joy for me.I spend less time with my friends after I got this secretary job.Alot of typing and most of the time,I'm in front of the computer.The worst thing is that I might have to go to school early almost everyday.My eyebags are really obvious.And I've got 'panda eyes'.Sometimes I'm so busy until I forgot to eat.I would take my dinner at 10pm.Normally I would not feel tired after coming back from school but now,my eyes can barely open when we're going for our SP duties.And the stack of papers I have to carry everywhere when I'm going for duty.Any questions the 1st person they would point to is me.Just because I'm the secretary doesn't mean that I know everything.Well maybe I should.Nicholas Goh gave us a new name for the Head Prefect,Assistant Head Prefect,Secretary and Treasurer.He called us 'The Top 4'.Sounds like a boyband to me.We're like a group of musicians dressed in blue!The head and assistant head prefect are in charge of the AJKs while the treasurer and I are in charge of all the other prefects.Oh My God!More stress.I need some sleep.Joo Ann signing off...

Booooring Holiday!

Congratz to all my friends for completing another chapter of their life.OMG!I got a date!!!I got a date with my fellow friends from 1A2!.Going bowling and somewhere else(I don't know where)Going to Mid Valley on Wednesday(25 November 2009).I hope I can watch 'A Christmas Carol'.The movie is just so touching and guess what???It's out already!The picture above was grabbed by my senior's(Deanna)blog.It was during Majlis Perpisahan and Nicholas is telling me to do a catwalk down the lane.So embarassing.My face was so red.Very 'fish' larh.Somemore that time I just cut my hair.My hair was a mess.Thats it for now peeps!Joo Ann signing out!

Seniors' Farewell Party

Late post!Farewell party was awesome!The food was .......But the best part was being there with my seniors and friends.Khye Teng looked awesome!The moment I walked to the table where they were sitting at,everyone started to cheer because I was wearing a dress.(LOLS)Anyways,En Shahril was there too.Then we had the best dress competition.The contestants were Khye Teng,Ho Shelley,Amanda Seng,Ong Yun Jet,Wee Wen Li,Andrew Phang and Ching Yuan.They casted their votes and Andrew Phang and I won!Thx to all who voted!Don't know what to say already.I think this would be the shortest post in the history of my blog.Ohhhhhh Laaaaaaa Laaaaaaa!Congratz Janice and Kylie.Your wish came true!My post is finally short!

Change again!

Well well well.After the 1st day of becoming AJK7,all the AJKs were called again.This time,a major mix up.Our jobs change again!This is the real jawatan.Not changing anymore unless we do something really bad.Ketua:Nicholas Goh.Penolong:Ying Lee.Setiausaha:Joo Ann.Bendahari:Kah Yee.AJK1:Weng Hong.AJK2:Yu Ming.AJK3:Syahidah.AJK4:Chuan Yew.AJK5:Daniel Ling.AJK6/Penolong Setiausaha:Wei Yu.AJK7/Penolong Bendahari:Kah Yi.AJK8:Min Yu.AJK7 Penolong:Jiun Rou.AJK8 Penolong:Yun Jet.Well.There you have it.The permanent Barisan AJK.Congratz to all the new juniors that were just elected.Wearing my new uniform on Monday.So excited.Poor Kylie!Derrick's not teaching her so Yue Sam is teaching her instead.Oh well.Kylie's helping him to get ready to teach his juniors next year.So he's killing 2 birds with 1 stone.Lucky him.Nicholas keep pushing the job to me.What to do?Who ask me to be setiausaha?Last time sleep at 11pm.Now sleep at 10.30pm.Somemore every Wednesday need to go to school early to do SSDM.The stress!Wonder how would I cope?I hope I don't Have a nervous breakdown 1 day.All the other AJKs like so carefree.Like they got nothing to do.So good.Kylie gave me a book of love quotes.So nice.I think she took a really long time to write it down.Thx Kylie!Poor Karen.When she ask the class to clean up the class,no one listen to her.She shout until she got no voice.If she didn't become PAK,she can become pengawas.I gave my senior 2 new juniors.Thought he won't be so lonely after this.But instead,he not teaching.All the other seniors already started but he haven't.So shock.But now got no time to be shocked.Must focus on last two papers.English and Science(my best and favourite subject)Yun Jet say wanna get something for all the seniors on 'Majlis Perpisahan'But Nicholas say don't want.Yun Jet look so disappointed.Maybe I can try to talk to Nicholas and see.Now all the senior AJKs like on express train.Teaching at the speed of light.Wei Yu and I are getting our SSDM lessons from Deanna.She very nice senior and also very cooperative.I don't understand why but she is the setiausaha,she should be quite stressed out.How come she's not as stressed as me and yet she can keep on smilling everytime?I must try to be like her.Not lookwise but in the sense of being as calm as her when she handle things.

New job!More stress!

During BM,we had free study.Cik Siti don't feel like teaching so ok.The whole class is like a jungle.Can see people running everywhere.Got people sit in groups.Got people laugh non stop
(Karryn,Kylie and I).Then when I was looking at something in Kylie's book,suddenly LCK knock on the door.Since I sitting closest to the door,Karryn,Kylie and I watch him walk into class.Suddenly he say''Cikgu,saya nak jumpa Lee Joo Ann''Then Cik Siti pointed at me.Kylie and Karryn were like so shocked.I was shocker.So I went out and I had my first conversation with the ketua pengawas that lasted for 15seconds.Oh well.He told me in Mandarin''Go Bilik Guru Disiplin''.So I ran there.I was the first person to arrive.After 5 minutes,Kah Yee came.Then Yun Jet.Then finally,13 of us gathered outside the bilik disiplin.AJKs came too.They entered 1st.After they entered,all the 13 juniors panicked.So damn scared.Yun Jet told me we were going to be choosen as AJKs.I told him no way lar.Then,Cik Kalpana opened the door and asked us all to go in.Guys when in 1st then girls.But the strangest thing is Daniel Ling entered last!(OMG!)So we stood in a line like a small train.Then Cik Kalpana started saying that''Okay.You are all gathered here because you're all choosen to be AJKs next year.Ketua will be Daniel Ling.Penolong,Ying Lee.Setiausaha,Hue Zhi Yang(I dunnoe hw to spell)Penolong setiausaha/AJK 6,Wei Yu.Bendahari,Kah Yee.Penolong Bendahari/AJK 7,Lee Joo Ann.AJK1,Kah Yi.AJK2,Yu Ming(my partner.always quarrel with me)AJK3,(a malay girl)AJK4,Andrew Phang.AJK5,Nicholas Goh.AJK8,Chong Min Yu.AJK 7 punya penolong,Lau JiunRou.AJK 8 punya penolong,Yun Jet."So thats how we were choosen.Next day,Yen Lu brought me around and taught me many things.(thx senior)Some seniors say very good and very bad for my senior.Good is that we both(my partner aka Yu Ming and I)became AJK.Bad is he will be very lonely.No junior to talk to when tugas time.Don't worry senior!We'll always be your juniors!BTW.AJK 1 is kebersihan.2 is pakaian.3 is Agama Islam.4 is rambut.5 is spotcheck.6 is i don't know what.7 is merit-demerit.8 is kelewatan.Oh yea!forgot something!When the mini train was form and we were all told our duties,LCK noticed something.He counted and guess what?Chong Min Yu aka AJK8 was missing!LCK shouted and said ''Oh shit!Forget to call him!''Everyone laughing like crazy!Bought my uniform just now.So damn happy.Jump for joy!Congratz to all my prefectorial friends that became woman/man in blue.Let's do our best!We shall stick to school rules like super glue.(I hope)ow still examing.2a2.I shall sit in you next year!(I hope)Good luck and Gambate to all my friends!We can do it.Joo Ann's friends and Joo Ann boleh!

Port Dickson Trip

Phew...Exam this week.And yet my parents insist that I go along to P.D.The trip was great.But the food too simple.Collected some beautiful stones by the beach.Although they look kinda weird.Oh well,there are many things I haven't seen.This is certainly something new.Exam time!Must study hard so that I can go into 2A2 next year.At the same time must work harder for prefectship.Aren't they taking a bit too long for the selection?Very bored waiting everyday wondering when are they gonna select us.The 'Majlis Perpisahan'was rescheduled to 7th of November.One week after the exam.Great way to release stress!Good job seniors!We learnt alot from you.We are deeply depressed that we cannot work with you anymore.Do your best in PMR next year.Karaoked from 10pm to 12am yesterday.Couldn't wake up for breakfast.But manged to drag myself out of bed.I hardly slept last night.There was a thunderstorm and the bed was so damn hard.The pillows were hard too.Wondered how my parents managed to sleep.The floor was freaking cold when I woke up.I woke up instantly.I got bitten by a stupid red ant at the spa.Now my leg swell like crazy.And the wound is so itchy.How am I gonna survive?!?!Tomorrow got no school because of Deepavali.Yay!!!Can study at home.I wanted to bring my books along but I scared I might leave them behind.Left two ice lemon tea in the freezer.Just remembered when I woke up from my deep slumber.Doesn't matter.Free drinks for the employees.I think I left my comb behind too.Nevermind lar.Cheap comb.Can buy anywhere.My sister insist on going on the banana boat.Wonders why she wanna gets flung off in to the sea.

Tagged by Shenni/Moo

1. What have you been doing recently?
Ermm...Sleeping,playing maple story
2. Do you ever turn your handphone off?
Yes.Quite frequent
3. What happened at 10am today?
Ermm...I'm still in bed
4. When did you last cry?
Last month.Cried alot
5. Believe in Fate/Destiny?
Half half
6. What do you want in life now?
To achieve my goal
7. Do you carry an umbrella when it rains or just put up your hood?
If i'm sad,then i would walk under the rain.N i dont wear hoods
8. What's your favourite thing to do on bed ?
Think about the future
9. What bottoms are you wearing now?
Hawaiian shorts
10. What are the nicest things in your inbox?
Romantic e-mails
11. Do you tend to make relationships complicated?
Umm...maybe.I'm a demanding person
12. Are you wearing anything borrowed from anyone?
Nope.Just my camping shirt
13. What was the last movie you caught?
Erm...Meaning???
14. What are you proud of?
My fingers
15 . What does the oldest text msg in your inbox says and who is it from?
It is from my singaporean aunt and it says 'Do you eat Petai?'
16. What was the last song you sang out loud?
Miley Cyrus - The climb
17. Do you have any nicknames?
Quite a few
18. What does the newest text msg says and who is it from?
From Hotlink - RM0.Update your phone now!
19. What time did you go to sleep last night?
2.30a.m
20. Are you currently happy?
Erm...Quite
21. Who gives you the best advice?
Kylie,friends and family
22. Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can?
I dont eat whipped cream
23. Who do you talked to on phone last night?
My piano teacher
24. Is something bugging you right now?
Yes.Alot
25. Who is the last person to make you laugh?
My brother I think
26. Do you like yourself?
I LOVE myself
27. You want $5 or $10?
Both!
28. Do you think you are stupid sometimes?
Yes.Very stupid
29. Who is your best best best friend?
Tan Huei Yen Kylie and Shenni
30. What will you do if you like that boy/girl?
Erm...Look at him hoping he would look back
31 . Who are ur favourite stars ?
Joe Cheng cause he's super cute
32. You hate your mother sometimes in some ways?
I don't know
33. Do you had even stead before?
What in the world is stead?
34. What type of boy/girl do you like?
Funny,caring,cute,cool and accepts me for who i am
35. Now are you single/attached?
Still single
Pass this tag to 10 people !
1.Kylie
2.Yun Jet
3.Karryn
4.Adelynn
5.Soma Rupini
6.Isa Chong
7.Shenni
8.JwenLee
9.KhyeTeng
10.Vanessa

1. Would you date number 5?
Kylie-If she's willing but i'm not a les

2. Number 2 just got in a car crash. How do you react?
Yun Jet-Panic!Call his sister.(But do you even have a drving license Yun Jet?)

3. You see number 9 with your boy/girlfriend. What do you do?
KhyeTeng-Walk up to them and say hi.

4. You come home and your room has been ransacked by number 4.
Adelynn-She doesn't even have the key to my house

5. Number 1 is acting weird.
Kylie-Because of _ _?

6. Numbers 3 and 8 decide to give 10 a haircut.
Karryn,JwenLee and Vanessa-Count me in!

7. Number 7 just got tickets for him/her and ask you to go to a concert.
Shenni-Depends who is the guy/girl on stage

8. Number 10 takes you to a bar.
Vanessa-I think we should wait until we're old enough

9. Number 4 has to move to the other side of the world
Adelynn-Oh my!where are you going?remember to send me a postcard!

10. You and number 8 are being chased by the cops for an unknown reason.
JwenLee-Stop the car!

11. Number 5 asks you out to dinner.
Soma Rupini-Sure.why not?As long as the bill is yours!

12. Number 9 and you are sitting on a bus.
KhyeTeng-She so rich.Never sit bus 1!

13. Number 6 calls you in the middle of the night because he/she can't sleep.
Isa Chong-He doesn't have my number!

14. Your walking with someone and number 6 runs up and tackles you to the ground from behind.
Isa Chong-I will shout 'molest!'

15. Number 1 is crying one day and you ask him/her why and it seems their boy/girlfriend has dumped them.
Kylie-I kill him!

16. Number 2 offers to bake you a meal. As you sit in the other room, the kitchen is suddenly on flame.
Yun Jet-No wonder your name has 'jet'Whoosh!

17. Number 4 comes to your door one day holding a cola.
Adelynn-For me?You shouldn't have!

18. Number 4 just got you an X-Box.
Adelynn-Thx!

19. Number 9 challenges you to a children's card game
KhyeTeng-Explain the rules!

20. Number 1 thinks he/she's overweight.
Kylie-you soooooooooo thin!

21. Number 7 looks lonely!
Shenni-Come we dota together!

22. Number 2 asks you rudely to go leave her/him alone.
Yun Jet-Fine!'He never did that before'

23. Numbers 5 and 3 decide to throw a surprise party for you.
Karryn and Soma Rupini-Thx a lot!

24. Number 6 decide to dye their hair black. What do you say to that?
Isa Chong-Your hair is already black!

25. You catch number 9 by him/herself, crying.
KhyeTeng-Ask her what happened

26. Numbers 1 , 3 , 5, and 6 all tackle you at once!
Kylie,Karryn,Soma Rupini and Isa Chong-Bring it on!

We're here for you

Yesterday,I read Kylie's new blog.Unexpectedly,tears started to roll down my cheeks as soon as I read the last word.That made me realise how unfair life could be.How unfair humans could be.It's not wrong to like someone.Why?Why she has to say those kind of things?If someone were to say the same thing back at you,won't you feel hurt?Stabbed in the heart.The pain just comes back as soon as you forget it.I mean,she's not even that pretty.Even if she is,that doesn't that she is as pretty inside.Maybe she's thinking that when she gets rid of one rival,she would win his heart.Doesn't she realise that there are a lot of possibilities in this world.How naive can she get?But don't you worry.We're here for you.And you don't have to give up on him.If you're loyal,he would realise that sooner or later(let's hope its sooner).If he doesn't realise anything,then he's not 'The One'.Theres always a better guy out there that is suitable for you.You don't have to change yourself so that you can be with him.If that guy really loves you,then he won't care about how you look like.He's not worth your time if he were to mess around with your feelings.Just think that you're one in a million.Think that you're the best and it's that guy's lost for not wanting you.It would be the easiest way.He's worth a million smiles but not a million tears.

It's over

I feel more comfortable when I'm with her now.Everytime I'm with here,I feel so awkward thinking of what to say.But its over now.My crush on him is over.Although I'm saying this,but I hope that he would realise that she is just playing a trick on him.Well other than that,the concert was a blast.And when I said blast,I meant that it nearly blew my eardrums away.Other than that,I guess had a pretty good time at the concert.But I didn't expect to bump into that ***** again.She thought that I couldn't understand Mandarin.How absent minded can one person get?Other than that,I really love Vanessa's poems.It has so much meaning to it and I just feel very relaxed when I'm reading it.I just don't understand how she could write that beautiful poem.Not to mention the story she gave me to read.I just can't wait until she finished the romantic yet dramatic story.

Why did it happen?

My life has changed from bad to worse recently.Everytime I try to forget it,it would be either an e-mail or something I read in her blog.All she thinks is that I'm not trying to get over it.Yes I admit.I feel very hurt when I firat saw it.It took me quite some time to realise that.But that doesn't mean that I hold a grudge against you.It also hurt alot when I say''I don't mind.Really''If I were to tell you that the guy you've been telling me so much about doesn't like you or something like that,how wold you feel?I just couldn't believe it at all.When you think that your best friend would understand how you feel about this,the truth would come crushing down on you.I have no idea what am I suppose to do.How would you feel if the person you trusted the most let you down.If you were really sick of what I'm telling you,disgusted and think that I'm self-centered,then you could've told me.Rather than knowing this truth,I'd rather know what you think of me.Humans' lifespan are short.Theres only once in your life you get to know a best friend.Someone you can rely on throughout your journey to adulthood.And here I was living my own little fairytale which I believed will come true.Not everyone can let things go just like that.Everyone has their own pace and takes things step by step.But for me,time is moving rather slow.Not a minute,an hour goes by without me asking myself why did she do that?I thought she cared for me.I thought she understood me.Thats what best friends are for right?If I could turn back time,I would never have read that letter on the table.I would laughed with them everyday.I would try to make peace between them when we quarrel.But theres one thing I would never ever change.That is meeting you guys and having a wonderful time of my life.

The tears won't stop falling.

Even after reading it,I really can't forget what was written in that letter.Everytime I close my eyes,the words would just pop up in my head.Then tears would roll down without me realising.Only after lots of thinking,I've only realised that I've been living in a world of lies.For so many years,I've been living those years with lies but no one has told me what I'm really living through.It really dissappoints me to read that letter.I wished that I never read it.It changed my life forever.When I thought about it,it was the second toughest thing I have ever faced ever since stepping into the gates of our new school.The first is seeing the guy I liked holding hands with another girl.The second was this.Maybe the word 'love' shouldn't be in my dictionary.I'm trying to forget it but I can't.Its one truth that I cannot face.I just don't know who to trust anymore.Should I just blank myself from the real world?I just couldn't accept this fact although I have told myself thousands of times that what they say is true but the feeling of being betrayed is trying to win my mind over.I just don't know what to do.The tears won't stop but I really hope they do.I don't wanna lose my friends just because of something like this.I told myself many times,I've repeated the same things over and over but as I'm writing this,the tears are rolling down my cheeks.I just don't know how to forgive them.I tried but everytime I see them,I have this feeling in me that I was gonna get betrayed again.I don't know who to turn to.I don't know who could lent me their shoulder when I'm confused about things.I don't know who could I ask for advices.The words 'not into'is always in my head.When I read that letter again,I just don't know what to do.When I first read it, I thought someone was playing a trick.But then I realised that that wasn't a joke.I just want the tears to stop.I wanna believe that I can but deep down I know that I cannot.The words would continue to haunt me forever.

Should I change it?Or should I just let it be

Today could be the worst day or the best day of my life.The list changed today.I went to the block only to find 'him' there.I could not believe it!I quickly ran away from 'him'.He must have thought I'm a freak.I wanna talk to him but I just don't have the guts.Today in class,I played 'Truth or Dare' with Vanessa,Alvin,Nicholas,Craig and Colin.Disaster struck when the needle pointed at me.Without knowing what they might ask me,I chose 'Truth'.Then Vanessa asked Nicholas to ask me who I liked.I nearly fainted.Everyone was so eager to know who I liked.They started to crowd around me.Then they start asking name of guys who I might like.But they'll never guess who I truly like.
Life can be very difficult sometimes.Some people treat you like you're their slaves while others treat you really nice but have and intention instead.It's difficult to get real friends.How do you know you can really trust them when you don't know them very well.Its either they stay friends with you or they would ditch you after they get what they were after.We should not pretend to be tough as well.You're acting all tough but on the inside its okay to be soft.Its okay to shed tears once in a while.Emotions are difficult to control.You feel like crying but you can't cry because you're afraid that they would say nasty things about you.But keeping you feelings to yourself would hurt you terribly.Its like you're being eaten up inside by sadness and anger.Its very sad and someone could just have a nervous breakdown.Its much better if you share your problems with someone you trust.
Its maybe time for the game to end and start a new game instead.Sometimes you just wanna tell that person how you really feel about him/her but you're afraid that you might get rejected.Thats the feeling that keeps you bothered for a long time.The feeling would just keep hunting you until you break down in tears.Its really mental torture but there are some people who can handle this torture but some couldn't.Its not how you get it,its how you deal with it.You must deal with it positively so that you would not feel any regret after this.No matter what you do,remember that whether you win or lose,it would happen again.So we must be mentally prepared to face this long and hard battle.

Difference between us.

Most of us have changed after we stepped past the gates of the new school.I said most of us,not all of us.Some of us changed a lot while some of us didn't changed one bit.Sometimes,change is good.Like some people say,'If the old don't go,the new would not come'.But too much change could cause a gap between us.A gap that could never be filled in again.If I could go back in time,I would wish that all of us become good friends and best friends forever.But that wish was not meant to come true.Some of us expects change but some of us don't.Change could be bad also.Sometimes,you change too much until your friends get pissed off at you.And I don't want that to happen between me and my group of friends.Well,let's not talk about that anymore.Vanessa requested to be written on my blog.So this is for you Vanessa!Vanessa's a new person I met at this new school.She's really cute and very playful.She often writes poems that I enjoy reading a lot.All of her poems have a special meaning which she points out to her crush.She really likes him a lot.But the thing is,he don't want to start a relationship with her now.Maybe they would start later.Who knows?But I wish her all the best.Love can be very complicated sometimes.That guy keeps giving her false hope which tears her apart everytime.
What is their intention in doing so?It's not wrong to fall in love.But doing it negatively is definitely wrong.
Coming across all of these in life is very difficult.But we must stand strong and believe that we can defeat every obstacle in life.Its not how you look on the outside,its how you are inside that counts.You could be an angel in front of your parents and you're an angel on the inside too.You have to know that your friends became friends with you because they know that they can trust you and they can depend on you to give them good advice and support them.However,you must stand up for what is right and what is wrong.Although your friends think its correct but you think its wrong,you could give them your advice.If they don't accept it,so be it.It's not worth gambling your friendship over a small matter.
To me,choosing good friends are very important.A small mistake in choosing friends could cause you misery for the rest of your life.It's not how they look like that counts,its how much you trust them.

Does it make a difference?

Not long after deciding,I reported to Miss Kalpana about the girl and how she's been harassing me.I just feel so disturbed and i could not get enough sleep every night.I feel less threatened by that girl now.My senior is always on the look out for me in case anything should happen to me.But I can't always depend on him.I have to learn to stand on my own two feet.He has taught me well and enough so I can't fail his expectations.Everyone expects me to pass this prefectorial exam since my brother is the assistant head prefect.But I feel that I might let their hopes down.I've tried so hard but the thing is,I could give more but I'm just too scared.I'm scared that maybe.just maybe that the gangsters might get pissed off at me and whack me.I could give more than a 100% but the fear inside of me keeps holding me back.What should I do?I can't stand behind my senior's shadow and ask him to protect me from all harm.I don't know why,but I have a feeling that one of the gangsters that used to threaten me like him.That girl is always asking me to get his number.I've suspected her alot of times but sometimes,what you feel is wrong.You have to see it for yourself.No matter what happens,you have to make the decision for yourself.Your friends,your seniors and your family can't hellp you though this obstacle.It's up to you to make your own choice.Whether its right or wrong,it's up to you to decide.Your friends might think that its wrong,but all you have to do is follow your own heart.Listen to yourself and no one else.It's not wrong but taking your friends advice might cause you some harm.(no offence guys!)But only you and you alone would know whats best for you.I learnt that from personal experience.You can trust other people but in the ned,you have to make the right choice.Like 'The Executioner's Song'it is written ''Life is full of choices.Black and white.Which one is yours?"

Time is never enough.What will I do if I have the time to do everything that i wanna do?I would tell him how much i like him.I would go out with my friends as much as i could.I would run as fast as i could and feel the breeze in my hair.I would talk as much as i could in class until the teacher gets pissed off.I would quarrel with my sister as much as i could before she left for National Service.I would practice piano and enjoy the beautiful music i created by pressing keys.I would complain to my friends on how the AJKs scolded us when we done nothing wrong(no offense seniors!).But the thing is,time is just not enough for me to do everything.Thats why some humans die with regrets because they couldn't do what they wanted to do when they were alive.However,some humans die with no regrets because they know they lived their lives well and they would watch over their children as they grow up.But in my case,its a totally different story.After I injured my ankle a few years ago,I could not run like before.

Memories

Today is the 212 day I liked him.Somehow,I don't think he noticed me yet.To him,I'm just one of his senior's sister.How much does he mean to me?Even if I did pluck up the courage to tell him how i felt about him,he would just laugh at me.I got bullied in school the other day and i told Cheryl Ng about it.She told me not to worry.She will tell him to change the list.And the next day,he did.Cheryl is a really great senior.She really cares about her juniors.Ever since that incident,he seems to slow down when he walks across the bridge.Could it be he wants to make sure that i am safe?Senior Li Ying told my senior what had happened and how that girl threatened me.I did not have the guts to tell him as we don't communicate that well.After she told him,he immediately came over to me and told me to tell him if that girl came and bully me again.I have a feeling that he feels quite guilty because he wasn't there to protect me when i was in danger.I didn't want to get him involved in this as it might cause him some difficulty.He's already quite busy with his exams and all and now he has to take care of Yu Ming and I.He has to take his PMR next year and I'm quite worried for him as he's taking care of my case.what can i do to lessen his burden?He doesn't pay as much attention to me as my senior.Of course he doesn't.He's not my senior.I received a letter at my file.When i asked Vanessa who was at my place just now,she said no one was here.I opened the letter and it was from a person who obviously doesn't want me to find out who she is.During recess,i found out it was ___,____ and _____ who wrote that letter.I was so disappointed.I trusted them and they wrote that letter.How could i ever trust them ever again?I have a feeling that _____ wrote that letter to me because the guy she had a crush on found out that she liked him and rejected her.But she can always find another guy to love.It's not like he's the only guy on earth.But she thinks that way.Why can't she just learn to let him go?She could at least try,couldn't she?Karen is also another pain.She thinks that everyone is wrong and she's the only one person who's correct.Says the girl who likes Dixon.She's just trying to attract Dixon and if he talks to any of the girl for example Kar-Ryn,she would go up to her later and say, ''you wanna steal my boyfriend away right?''What boyfriend?All Dixon did was talk to her a few times but she has already thought Dixon was her boyfriend.Not only that,she blames other people when it's actually her fault.Like if we lost in a basketball match,she would start cursing and swearing.I don't know when and how she developed that habit.Every word,every sentence for that matter would have at least 1 vulgar word in it.I understand that she is trying to impress Dixon but is impressing a guy that important?More important than your own friends?At least to Karen,that thing is the most important thing of the day and she would feel incomplete without it.Everyone is really getting pissed off at Wai Loon.Not only he's a jerk,he wants to act cool and impress Mei Cheng.He is also a very perverted guy.Nearly all the girls in my class stay away from him.But the girls who don't know how perverted he is,thought that he's a very nice guy and stay friends with him.I wanted to tell all of them but he might do something unpleasant to me.And then there's Craig and Colin,the twins.Craig is like the sleepy one and Colin is the cool one.They're quite nice once you get to know them.I'm writing in this blog now cause i don't know what might happen tomorrow.I might get hit by a car,i might get killed by that girl.Who knows?